New Website and Things

Depending on your perspective, Story Creator has been making progress, but hasn't. Technically, the name for this software is called "StoryDev RPG Studio", but this may just be called "StoryDev Studio" eventually.

But, before I begin my "procrastination" potentially, please consider visiting my new website, LukeSelman.com. More specifically, please consider reading the following blog post, where I discuss in detail the reasons for my back and forth.

Is this procrastination?

Currently, I am still at odds with where I want to take my first game. Do I write it as an interactive story, even if it only reaches 5 people? Or do I work on a more complex project like a role-playing game and make it in, say, RPG Maker, to save time?

Two questions arrive to me, but one perhaps more important than the other.

• In whichever form the game takes, is it worth the time to work on it or focus all my time in writing instead?  If I write and make a game, which takes precedence?
• Has my programming skills all this time been procrastination or am I supposed to work towards something else?

The second question is perhaps the most important one, and I like writing so I am going to write this down in this blog post so I can use this as a reference point later. First off, there is somewhat of an irony that you may have just noticed. I said I like writing, which potentially proves or disproves something about the procrastination point.

However, there is an important, more surreal, point that needs to be made, and that is why it is important to read this article (just as I linked above) to understand where I am going with this.

I am almost thirty years old. The big 30 is coming up, and that normally means significant life changes. A different outlook. A different perspective. This process has potentially already started.

How I go with my life from here is difficult to say. I am currently exploring "stuff", let's say. Trying to get a handle on what it is I am trying to achieve and why. It is a part of life we all experience, and I am slowly approaching the mid-life stage of my life when things will take an even darker turn. Not in a bad way, but it is an evolutionary part of my life I am not particularly looking forward to.

However, it does come with an opportunity. It may lead me to consider only focusing on one part of my interests.

The Spiritual Transition has been an idea for a VERY long time. I first conceived the idea for a series of stories when I was eighteen years old, almost twelve years ago. Yes, nothing to show for it. I tried writing a novel for five years, it didn't work out. Or rather, I just stopped writing it.

And then another idea came along, and that took the form of "Shadowlight". For those of you who know me on the RPG Maker community, you know what this is.

Shadowlight is the prequel to the entire franchise, exploring the how's, why's and where's of the story of The Spiritual Transition. It begins a treacherous journey for a certain individual -- Azeki. Exploring vast lands and discovering issues and political problems in Dookian (basically humans to you and I) society, uncovering the soul fragments of Shadowlight and performing sinister rituals to decipher the true nature of the creature and its goals.

To make this in any form will be one hell of a task.

Let's explore, shall we?

Book Form

I already have 5 years of experience writing novels, albeit to a dead-end eventually. Writing can be a cheap way to make a creative work, certainly cheaper than a video game in the long run, but profit potential is minimal. Unless you are a professional or very popular, you do not write to make profit. You write because you enjoy it.

Book Form is good because it means I can be as creative as I would like to be at no additional cost. It opens up the right hemisphere of the brain arguably more than most other mediums. The reason is simple -- the blank piece of paper has more potential than a programming language you use to make a game or a camera dictating direction in a screenplay. 

Although my years of experience in writing benefits me here, the potential for popularity is not as high as it may be with a video game. However, as I continue with life, I can be more practiced in writing novels and as the years go on, significant life changes, particularly when world circumstances are uncertain, will benefit the Book Form more.

This is primarily because access to resources for video games will become more difficult. I don't need as much help for writing a novel as I would making a video game, unless the game takes the form of an interactive story.

Game Form

I have sixteen years of programming knowledge. That is a long time. But most of that has been messing around with stupid projects that don't really go anywhere. Every programmer is like this, especially one that is as sporadic as me.

I cannot guarantee that any form of a video game can be made, because my brain is increasingly becoming more resistant to change as time goes on. This, I hope, will change when I start exploring new ideas and realms, let's say, but this will take time.

If it so happens that the concept of game-making becomes dead in the water due to either circumstances in my life or the availability of resources, this is nothing that can be changed once this happens. In all likelihood, this has already been hit, but only time will tell.

I have always wanted to make a game since when I was young, but sometimes I suspect this is one of those moments in life when you must face who you truly are and who you truly represent. In the end, electronics and games do not go hand-in-hand with spirituality, and I consider myself to be spiritual.

Can games be spiritual?

Jonathon Blow is the person I consider to be a spiritual leader in the world of video games, for one simple reason: Braid, and more specifically, The Witness, teaches the human brain to understand perception of the world in greater volume, and does an excellent job of unlocking the subconscious mind and evolving the human brain. I played The Witness for a while, but I was already quite spiritual and lead a spiritual life, so this experience is not as meaningful to me as it would be with other people.

The most important take away from Jon's games is that subconscious commands are triggered in gameplay mechanics than in story. In fact, the story of The Witness, for example, takes on non-written subtle visuals that you must link up, forcing you to connect the dots and understand the world in which you exist. It is "The Witness" after all, but I think the meaning of this name is deeper than most people probably realise, which leads me onto my next point.

Spirituality in video games are indeed possible, but it takes such a deep level of intrinsic knowledge in the understanding of video game mechanics, and be able to translate player action to a result that is fundamentally a natural realisation of the action you partook.

Almost every video game does not do this. The Witness stands testament to a natural realisation in your actions, which is an important spiritual understanding of reality.

In spirituality, you are often taught that your actions always have consequence. There is no such thing as random. Everything is specific, and nature creates synchronicities that is so complex and nobody understands how nature does it, but it's there and it's incredible when that realisation is felt.

The Witness is one of the very few games that really makes you think, subconsciously and makes you "WITNESS" your actions play out. It is still a video game, but it is a game that has the fewest "gamey" elements that it becomes a bit more than just a game that can be enjoyed. But it takes a certain mindset to understand this, which is why video games are so difficult to make "spiritual" in that sense.

Unless you specifically tell someone that your game consists of spiritual elements, those spiritual elements are going to be ignored and subconscious programming rules the mind once again.

But, what if I told you I am making a game that has spiritual elements and you want to play it?

Let's say I made an interactive story. It's an interactive but pre-determined plot points that demonstrate story progression, but you have control over where the story goes. Unless I take the time to dig deep enough into the kind of story I would make for an interactive story in this manner, it becomes a dead project already.

The reason this matters is because there is no point in me telling you the story you are reading is spiritual, you can make decisions and dictate the direction of the story itself, if the story is not that good in the first place. Interactive stories could be good, but they are so niche that the audience is tiny.

Interactive stories come in various forms. You have text-based, visual novels, Twine projects which are a mixture of both, and then you have role-playing games which are technically interactive stories but beyond the scope of interactive stories to the extent that they take teams of people to make.

In many ways, the kind of interactive stories I'm talking about are the kinds of stories where you make it because you enjoy it, not to make a profit. The potential for an audience is small, even if the story is good.

Role-Playing Games? Going back to RPG Maker?

For those who know me from the RPG Maker community, I did purchase RPG Maker MZ with the theory to make an RPG. After designing a lot of the maps, I came to a halt. This is nothing to do with RPG Maker. It's good software. This is really more a point about the programming issues I described above.

If I make something, it's got to be good. I've already spent 8 years of my life working out how to get my franchise going, there is no point dwelling further now. So, if that means just getting stuck into a rhythm and working, then do it.

That rhythm must work, though. If I hit a stumbling block because the programming requirements are too demanding or I'm just overthinking something (I can't get something to work), it's time for me to stop.

If my brain wasn't as resistant to change, I would be much further along with my RPG Maker project and I wouldn't be here writing this post.

But this is the reality that I face. Which path do I go down? Novels, Interactive Stories or RPGs?

Choosing the Path

If I had the brain to work fast, I would manage two projects at once: a game and a novel. IF that ends up becoming true, I will let you know.

Recently, I started writing again. The novel I was talking about earlier and the potential for me to write again. Writing seems more intuitive for my subconscious to work with and my creativity can be explored greater with writing than game-making.

That does not mean I won't make a game, of course. I would love to, but life circumstances may change. We all know what is happening in the world and these changes may come suddenly and seemingly randomly. But, at least with writing I can make posts such as this in long-form and explore new ideas with you.

Just how any potential game may come about may come to a difficult decision. I cannot stress enough just how much I beat myself (metaphorically) when I make changes I don't really want to do. It demonstrates a lack of integrity or decisiveness. This comes across as unprofessional, and I am well aware of this.

From a business perspective, this is bad practice. I either need to change my way of thinking or just stick with writing books. Only time will tell.

Thank you for reading and taking the time to explore these ideas with me. Let me know what you think in the comments below.